don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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