Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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