you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where is the hickey?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
