she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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