i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My life is pants optional.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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