I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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