I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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