Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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