Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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