All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
