he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love you. Go after that dick
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