i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you inspire me to be a worse person
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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