He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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