fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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