all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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