can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
