She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
