if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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