I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
