I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
