the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
