It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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