you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
