I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just had sex on a roof
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
