If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
