i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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