nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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