she was so not down for the gang bang
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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