I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
