sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
