I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
