how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
