check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
