started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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