How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize