Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
