piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
