ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
