# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
