i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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