Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
