They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
