we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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