idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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