Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
