She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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