My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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