Swine flu. Run for my life!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
