I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its not stalking. its research.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
