we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
