If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
