I'm really into asian looking animals
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
