Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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