My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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