god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
