they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
