meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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