Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
