Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
