dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
